“And Ananias went his way and entered the house; and laying his hands on him he said, "Brother Saul, the Lord Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you came, has sent me that you may receive your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit." Acts 9:17
How impossible it seems to me that it has been over six months since I have written a blog. Everyday I have flashes of thoughts that I wish to write down, but never seem to take the time to do so. In June, my company finally did what they had been threatening to do for 5 years. They moved our place of business out of Birmingham to Pelham, so my daily commute went from 2 miles a day to 32 miles. Suffice it to say that move has not been good for either my nerves or my free time. I know I scare both co-workers and friends alike when I say things like it is good that I do not carry a gun in my glove compartment, but that is a truthful statement. I finally realize the true definition of ‘road rage’.
The last six months has been a time of extreme highs and dismal lows for me. Martin, Joe, and I went on a truly fantastic week long trip to San Francisco in June which became not only a highlight of this year, but of my life. In September, Martin and I went with 3 of our friends for our yearly trip to the beach which turned out to be one of the best ever. Perhaps the best news is that 2 new friends have entered my life which both show a lot of promise, and I have continued to get much closer to an old acquaintance. So, on the bright side at the beginning of the year I had hoped for 10 really happy days this year, and I feel I have already more than surpassed that total.
Of course, with me the good always comes with more than its share of bad. My health both physically and mentally has certainly deteriorated since my last blog. For the last 8 years I have been fighting back pain from a degenerative disc, but over the last 6 weeks it has gotten almost unbearable. The pain has become constant and has started affecting my leg and my walking. This week I have an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon who hopefully can provide me with some relief without surgery. At work I am just miserable. In this new building we are packed on each other like sardines. I can truly hear every conversation my 12 nearest neighbors have, and for someone who already has concentration issues and who is as slow at their job as me any distraction is not good. At home while I really have nothing to complain about, I seem to never be happy. I was left home alone for most of this last weekend, and in the past that would have been a wonderful thing for me. I normally would have gone out partying with friends, watched all my favorite movies, played for hours on the internet, and ate and drank to my heart’s content. This weekend though I was barely able to force myself to go get a bite to eat. I spent the majority of both days laying on the bed in my boxers crying and feeling sorry for myself.
Like the apostle Paul, I so hope everyday to receive some insight as I travel along the long, winding road of life that will bring about a much needed change in my life. Perhaps I need God to lift the scales from my eyes so I can see how truly well I have it. All I know for sure though is that one day soon I am going to have to find a new map, because on the one I was given all roads seem to lead to a dead-end…
Monday, October 18, 2010
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