A Beginning...

"In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth." - Genesis 1:1

Beginnings are always difficult be they a fresh love affair, a move to a new home, the first day on a job, the start of a friendship, or trying to write your first blog. I've been writing poetry since I was 14 years old, but trying to put my thoughts and emotions into blog form is a completely new experience. A very special friend of mine told me recently that he finds writing his blog to be a catharsis. I am hoping for the same results!

How does one write about beginnings when at 46 he already feels his life has come to an end. Over the last year it has seemed that instead of living life, I'm simply surviving it. My days have become filled with unrewarding work - my nights with restless sleep. I find myself praying for new experiences to bring joy, laughter, and passion into my life. I cannot forget though the words of Karen Blixen, "When the gods want to punish us, they answer our prayers." I have come to fear that if my prayers were answered not only would I continue to want more, but also sadness might be brought to those I care about the most.

God didn't just create the earth, but also the flawed individuals who walk upon it. Perhaps I should be content with the happiness I bring to those I love, but as one of His flawed creations I find that contentment beyond my reach. My hopes in breaking my self-imposed boundaries and starting this blog are that I will be able to better understand my thoughts, explore my dreams, combat my fears, and live my life. Not sure at this point whether I will be successful, but it is a beginning...