“ Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.” Matthew 6:34
When I first started reading Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now”, I thought that it seemed written specifically for me. I never realized that there were enough people who lived their lives thinking so much about the past and future that someone could make a living writing books about them. To be able to not fret over past mistakes or worry about future responsibilities seems like an unreachable dream. I tell friends all the time to live in the now that no other time is guaranteed, but to live by that creed myself is practically impossible.
Most of my time is spent anticipating some future event. I pick out an event such as a party, a concert, or a vacation and I survive my days by counting down to that event. Of course, as soon as that event arrives I am already trying to find me another event with which to look forward. My deepest depressions seem to come right after one of these events has passed when I do not have another one lined up in the wings.
How do I learn to live in the now? To enjoy each moment God has graciously given to me? Even as I sit here on Friday writing this blog part of my mind is dwelling on the fact that I do not have any special plans for this weekend. While I will be happy to have a weekend where nothing has to get done, still I realize that will leave my mind so much time to spend dreading Monday morning. I know already that I will wake up tomorrow morning and instead of taking a deep breath soaking in a beautiful day off; I will begin counting in my head the hours I have before being forced to return to the drudgeries of the work week.
Jesus tells us to not worry about our tomorrows that they will take care of themselves. He is trying to tell us in His own comforting way that the only moment we are guaranteed is the one we are living in at the present. Tolle stresses this same point more graphically in his book. Am I capable of taking this advice and relishing each moment in time? Can I lay down both my regrets of past mistakes and my fears of the future? I am not sure that I can change 46 years of thought processes, but I am trying.
Now what can I plan for tomorrow?
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It's hard to live in the now. For me, it's easier to lay aside worries for the future but much more difficult to release the past. The regrets I have sometimes keep me trapped in a constant effort to make up for my mistakes or reshape what is already gone.
ReplyDeleteI am who I am and where I am. This is the time I have and the stuff I have. And when I look around, there is so much that is good. Most of the time, I know that and I am content and happy. But sometimes I want what I don't have. Those are the times that I regret my past decisions and become anxious for my future. Each day, I must remember that I have been given this day - just this day. All I have is in it and I can chose to find the good or the bad.
I hope I always chose to find the good.
The key thing is to try to always pay attention to what you are thinking. According to Eckhart, when you can do that, you are present and that being-present will grow. I'm just beginning to be able to do this after a long time of either being unconscious (say, 98% of the time) or not thinking at all (the other 2%).
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