“And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:32
When I was a kid two of my Dad’s favorite statements to make were, “There will be no liars there” and “Any intent to deceive is a lie.” He would of course say these to scare me into always telling him the truth. Well while the scare tactics never seemed to work on the young Jay, the older Jay has tried his best to be much more truthful. Being able to be completely honest with both yourself and everyone else would seem on the surface an easy thing to accomplish. I think most people are like me and find that not to be so.
When trying to be truthful with others, one has to first decide what exactly constitutes a lie. Is as my Dad tried to point out any relevant omission a lie? Is it fair to be truthful with someone if the facts would only serve to hurt the other person or to soothe your own conscience? Is it wrong for a gay person to remain in the closet to family or at work? Is it right for parents to tell their children there is an Easter Bunny? Of course that last one is silly, but following my Dad’s logic it would be considered a lie. Each person has to decide for themselves where to draw the line between truth and lie.
In my opinion being honest with yourself is an even harder prospect than with others. I imagine most people like to think of themselves as being a good person. I certainly feel sorry for those who do not. The question is, are we deluding ourselves with that thought? How do other people perceive us? Do we lie to people purposely out of spite or for our own personal gain? To really be honest with ourselves about whether we are a good person or not it is important to ask ourselves how we would feel if other people treated us the way we treat them.
When Jesus spoke of the truth setting us free, he was referring to the fact that he was the son of God sent to die for our sins. Does that statement though also hold in our everyday lives? Being completely honest will certainly set your mind free as it takes away the need to cover up your lies. For myself, I believe that I am fairly honest with myself in that I know I do not always treat others the way I should. I can certainly be catty, spiteful, and petty. Those are all issues that I need to work on. In being honest with others I know that I fall desperately short. Mainly that is because of fear. I am completely scared of how total honesty would affect the relationships in my life. So like the younger Jay, the old one still finds himself being less than truthful at times. Unlike the child though, the man is striving to be better…
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This is near to my heart. Nothing in my life has hurt more seriously than dishonesty. Sometimes it hasn't been outright lying, but withholding the truth, so that I was living in a lie. I'm a stickler about the truth. Dishonesty is about trying to control someone else, either through deliberate misinformation or through withholding information. To be dishonest is to fail to accept another as equal in humanity and dignity to oneself.
ReplyDeleteThat said, there are legitimate reasons to be dishonest. If sharing the truth is only hurtful and otherwise pointless. If sharing the truth might endanger someone. But the occasions are few.
When we are comfortable being dishonest with others, we more easily become dishonest with ourselves, to the point that we no longer know who we are. Losing oneself is a path that is difficult and painful to return from. We become the very lie we tell others.