Tuesday, February 22, 2011

1,051,200 Minutes...

"Behold, I go forward, but he is not there; and backward, but I cannot perceive him:" Job 23:8

Well the answer to last year’s blog is…forge ahead. If you do not know what that means then you get a demerit for having not read it. Yes, I have left myself open to a lot more emotional pain over this last year; but in return I have received so much growth and enlightenment in my life. I have reached a point that I now cannot imagine ever retreating into my lonely shell.

The hiking group I joined has continued to enrich my life both with much needed exercise, and in my learning how to be friendly with strangers. The weekend before last I actually went on my first ever hike where I did not have someone lined up to go with me. I realize that does not sound like much of an accomplishment, but please believe to me it was. My outlook on the friendship aspect of my life continues to improve. I have strengthened and re-strengthened old friendships as well as made a few new ones. A new guy in my life has helped me learn to open up and trust more by completely sharing his life story with me. While I imagine I will always have a lot of issues with trust, I am grateful that he has made it so easy for me to rely on him as a confidant. My health had a lot of ups and downs throughout the last year, but my eye doctor says my eyes are still in just a pre-glaucoma stage and nothing else needs to be done at this point. While I still certainly have quite a few back issues, the surgery I had back in November has certainly improved my leg pain. Finally, my life at home continues to be for the most part pleasant. Of course, with three people in a relationship that triples the chances for problems; but most of them we find ways to work through.

Very much like Job, I often find it difficult to move forward; but now I realize the uselessness of looking back. While I realize I have a very long way to go, I do believe that over the last 525,600 minutes I have made great strides in building up confidence in myself. Where will I be once another year passes? Stick around! Like Bette says I am sure the ride will be bumpy, but hopefully it will be fun…

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