Our Day Will Come

“But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.” Romans 8:25

My entire life has seemed like a ride on a rollercoaster with extreme highs followed rapidly by severe lows. Therefore it is really no surprise that the last two months have been a microcosm of the rest of my life. I started out March on quite a high only to see it shot down to where most of the month I spent feeling lower than I have ever felt before. Then just when I was about to give up on ever feeling better the month of April came in with unbelievable joy.

As more and more days in March kept passing, I truthfully thought my friendship with Crocket was beyond repair. I thought the differences between what my needs in the friendship in comparison to what he was able to give were irreconcilable. Each time we saw each other he just seemed to pull further away. Then as we entered April, he seemed to take a complete about face. All of a sudden he started responding positively to my outstretched hand. Slowly, but surely our friendship seemed to right itself. At first we just started e-mailing and texting each other again, and then we progressed to dinners and drinks. Now we seem to not only be back to where we were before March, but we have grown even closer.

I think the issue that caused the biggest rift was not any differences between us, but instead how our respective partners might view our growing relationship. It seems to me that whether you are involved in a relationship for 2 years or 20 years any change in the status quo can bring about jealousy. I truthfully have never understood jealousy. It is not an emotion that I had ever felt myself, so I am amazed at the extreme negative influence it can have on all types of relationships. Why cannot people just see that we are all capable of loving many different people in many different ways, and that the love you feel for one person does not in any way diminish the love you feel for another?

While Crocket’s issues dealt mainly with jealousy, my depression was caused mainly by a lack of patience on my side. Had I been willing to just relax and wait out the initial few weeks, perhaps I could have saved myself a lot of worry. On the other hand, had I not been willing to continue to push Crocket to make the hard decision to keep me in his life maybe we still would be estranged. Now patience is something we are both going to have to learn as we continue to hope that our relationship will conquer all the obstacles it faces and grow into a lasting one. Hopefully our love for each other will be strong enough that sometime in the future our day will come…